Finding Grace

Saturday, I was welcomed to the home of my friend Pieter's parent’s house. Jan and Maria had opened their front lawn as a freezie stop and now they were welcoming me into it for the weekend. It started with a delicious roast beef dinner and delightful conversation. They took such pleasure in their time with the cyclists throughout the day. Then Pieter and I took in 2 movies that I had to see for reviews. The movies weren't great...as a matter of fact they were awful but the time with Pieter to decompress what I had been experiencing in this community and the attitudes towards my rides.
He confirmed some of my intuitions that gossip about me was nasty and flourishing and that there seemed to a real lack of encouragement and understanding for those of us who are not serious cyclists.
Now I can’t change how people act or respond but I can choose what my actions and responses are. I was reminded of my friend Josh’s comments that I had not been taking the remarks from others in stride but that the claws had come out. I’m not sure if he meant that as a compliment but I knew that was not the person I wanted to be. It would be easy just to sink to the lowest level and put people in their place for the last week but that is not what I believe that we are called to in community.
I am making a commitment to extend grace beyond what I am able. It is OK not to agree, to have differences but you do not have to respond or interact with rudeness or anger. I have decided that I need to reverse this trend and “as much as it depends upon myself live peaceably with others.
The place to start was with Josh K. He had interrupted a conversation on Saturday when I was riding and I had told him to “mind his own business” in anger. At Sunday dinner, I pulled him aside and apologized for my rudeness and explained that what he had interrupted was different than what he thought. He was very gracious and explained that he had a different perspective and he thought he was doing the right thing. We came to understanding and peace. A good way to start.
It’s certainly not the easy way to finish this tour…but that is probably a good sign that it is the right one.
Memento is a movie I really enjoy, about a guy with extreme short term memory problems and a mystery he is involved in. At one point in the movie, the main character is asking for help from a hotel employee. The employee asks “Why are you doing this if you aren’t going to remember anyway?” The character replies” Because my actions matter even if I don’t remember them.” I need to remember this too….that even the things I don’t remember doing or saying affects someone.